A Foundation: Being a Helper of God

A helpmeet is a helper to the husband through the role of the wife. For us women, we were designed to be helpers and to be joined to the husband, and were given desires for such.

Similar to the sentiment about being a reflection, we will reflect what we are a part of and look to place ourselves in something, regardless of varying beliefs. We aid what we align ourselves in through our actions, words, behaviors, and so on; and we do this well because we are designed for it.

So, who should Christian women be a helpmeet to?

The answer may be obvious – the husband. Yet, what if we do not have one? We may feel out of place as if we do not have something to visibly fall back on; but we do, and He is God.

for we walk by faith, not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7 English Standard Version)

'Helping' God

With our obedience to God, we can use our desires and qualities of helpfulness, to 'help', or bless, exalt, or glorify Him as we submit to His will for us.

The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. (Ecclesiastes 12:13 English Standard Version)

We are all ‘helpmeets’, moreover servants, in The Great Commission, God's will for us, serving others, and more of the responsibilities that are encompassed in obedience. Still, for us women, we have unique qualities to help and are able to adopt such, having been made for it, as they are praised.

10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. 14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. (Proverbs 31:10 - 14 English Standard Version)

4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. (1 Peter 3:4 - 6 English Standard Version)

Consider, God placed our souls in our bodies, that have a gender and sex (which cannot change), with different, innate expressions and desires so that we may glorify Him. Furthermore, we may glorify God in the roles which He made for us. For he did not create roles and paths for the purpose of merely suffering, but to glorify Him, become like Him, and find joy in Him when the world causes us to suffer, as it is used for His sake and glory.

For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, (Philippians 1:29 New King James Version)

For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; (Romans 8:20 New King James Version)

As we are all one in Him, we glorify His holy and wise way of being so through what He called us to. Yet, to the flesh, being one may mean to be the same, but God is so incredibly wise beyond man, and His ways are above our own, that, to be one in Him is expressed through our roles and many gifts working together in the body, in many places, for unity in Him.

1 So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:1 - 4 English Standard Version)

4 For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, 5 so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. 6 Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; (1 Corinthians 12:4 - 6 English Standard Version)

29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:29 - 32 English Standard Version)

So, with innate feminine traits, some having more than others, we may ask ourselves, “How may I use my wifely or motherly desires to help God?” in our day-to-day lives, so that we can build a foundation in how we should proceed in our affairs. When we look to obey God first, submit to Christ, and follow his commandments, then dating or courting, being useful, and being helpful may come easier as we have a clear path and standard in God.

Helping in All Seasons

We understand that the woman was created to be a helper for the man; and in order to be a helper in the fullest extent to a man, and the fulfilling way to us, then we must be married to one. We do not want to give such valuable help and resources without commitment first.

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18 English Standard Version)

Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24 New Kings James Version)

8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. 9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. (1 Corinthians 11:8 - 9 English Standard Version)

Ideally, we want to marry a Godly man, have children, and raise our little disciples because that is the way that is clear and good to us, as we may see the template of the church through our families. Yet, if we do not have those things, we can still glorify and help God in unfavorable seasons. We may serve others, help families, work with children, be wise with our money & choices, and learn useful skills that will help us when we become a wife and mother, which will in turn help bring glory to our Father, and joy to us, as an example.

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12 English Standard Version)

'But what if I don’t feel like I can help?'

If we grow desires that are against our God-given ways, then it may feel as if we are not fit for helping, mothering, relationships, and so on. Thus, we would then have to make a conscious effort to not fall into the likely sins that come from the replacement of our given, feminine nature. By seeking and having masculine qualities as women, such may cause our path to be harder for growth in areas of humility, meekness, and gentleness, as we may become bigger, stronger, more powerful, and more independent in too many ways than needed, or designed to have, by our Lord. For this reason, a difficult notion of balancing work and home life is expressed, as women commonly work outside of the home, at the expense of child rearing, and do so against their will and desire. Also, a question must be asked if the work can be used to glorify God, and not something for vain, as jobs seem to possess a status beyond a means, ministry, or way to for us to help. Consider the workings of the woman, from Proverbs, chapter 31, as such were used to help her house, and not at the expense of it, as her home was made kept beforehand.

Now, may masculine qualities not be equated to a typically masculine hobby or interest, as such is not a quality. Therefore, may our hobbies and so be just that, and not used to make ourselves to be something like men.

So, with 'more' not always being what it seems, it may be hard to be light through embodying the ways that are not made for us, and prevalently, we struggle with our direction and security with ourselves, as women more masculine today. Nonetheless, we can combat any internal conflicts between what we desire, and what we portray, by the question: Is what I am doing now going to conflict with what I desire? Also, may encouragement be found in knowing that it is never too late or hard to (re)adopt our God-given ways or desires, use such for Him, and put on Christ.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17 English Standard Version)

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Takeaway

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, (Colossians 3:23 New King James Version)

We may not have a home to make right now, but we can make what we have around us to feel like one. We may not be married, but we can still use our desires and efforts to help bring glory to God. We can use what we are given and practice in what we have now, so that when marriage and children take place, we can help to the fullest extent by our means, for the Lord.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. (Matthew 6:33 New King James Version)

Likewise, we are responsible for what we are given from God, with or without a husband, and in this time, it would be a blessing to show God that we can still glorify Him in any season, regardless of if it is favorable or not.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:16 English Standard Version)

give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thessalonians 5:18 English Standard Version)

We can look back at this time and remind ourselves that we did something for the Lord, continued to press forward, and that the Lord was good to us for our assurance, and for others' benefit.

I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. (Psalm 77:1 English Standard Version)

"The conies are but a feeble folk, yet make they their houses in the rocks;" (Proverbs 30:26 KJV)

So, we’ll conclude with a question: in what ways could we become better helpers for God?

With love,

Claire Belle